UBER – To Pool or Not To Pool?

21st century is a whole new world – a world of opportunities, options and open relationships. Take Uber for example; aren’t we all in a non-exclusive open relationship with Uber? We openly stray, using and abusing Lyft’s services instead; but sooner or later, we shamelessly crawl back to Uber’s comfy and familiar quarters. Then we disappear again at the next earliest convenience. Even drivers don’t limit themselves to one or the other; you often see them playing for both teams and not even trying to hide it.

Ultimately I don’t think one or the other is better; I think the appeal is in the possibility of having a choice. In soviet Russia we did not have choice. You get what you get. Here in America, the land of the free; choices are endless. Even when you make a choice and go with Uber, the creators of the app are all over you, trying to accommodate your comfort and needs, presenting you with all kinds of options. Would you like to ride in a luxury car? Would you prefer a standard vehicle that still takes you straight to your destination? Or would you rather save a few bucks and pick up a few strangers on your way?

This brings me to the main question at hand – to pool or not to pool? To each their own, they say. Well, here’s a list of pros and cons that I’ve come up with to help you make the choice that’s right for you.

It’s Cool to Pool

These guys look like they’re getting along
  1. You get to meet new people – The possibilities are endless! Imagine running into someone who tickles your pickle just so that you not only feel the need to share a ride with them but feel like you were destined to. All the drunken, seemingly stupid decisions all of a sudden make sense and the previously blurry road ahead is now clear as day; you’re making out with a stranger in the back seat and it’s all thanks to Uber.
  2. It’s cheaper – If you choose ‘pool’, chances are you’re saving a few bucks. Whether or not those few bucks cost you your sanity is beside the point. It’s a gamble; and it costs less to play the game of either riding home by your lonesome or catching some strange on the way there. At the end of the day though, less money is spent and that’s all that matters.
  3. More chances to see weird shit go down – Whether it’s the other passengers or just folk on the street, your chances of seeing something entertaining go up if you choose Uberpool. It could be the odd couple in the backseat, having a hilarious marital discussion about mundane things. Or it could be the drunk girl wondering about the streets with her skirt halfway up her butt; something you wouldn’t have seen because that particular street isn’t part of your normal route.

It’s NOT Cool to Pool

This girl is traumatized and will never Uberpool again
  1. It’s inconvenient – When you’re drunk and all you want to do is get home, there’s no way you wanna be stuck on a detour, waiting for somebody to reach their destination before you get to. When you’re going to work, you definitely don’t wanna be late because the driver had to pick up another passenger on the way. When you’re starving, you most certainly don’t want to see the driver make a left to pick up some girl who’s going to the library, when you know your destination is less than a half block away to the right.
  2. There’s more pressure to participate in awkward conversations – Some drivers feel the need to fill the silence by talking; as do some passengers. When a third person or party is introduced to the mix, the pressure to talk somehow becomes higher. Instead of everybody just shutting the eff up, people seem to want to include one another in mindless chatter. Me no likey.
  3. It’s risky – You never know what kind of psycho might be jumping in mid-way. Here you thought you were on your way to a friend’s house and all of a sudden, BOOM, you’ve been kidnapped and you’re now lying in a ditch somewhere. Granted, you’re running into just as much of a risk with the driver himself being a psychopath who could do the very same thing or even worse, but your chances of encountering an insane human go up when you’re exposing yourself to more than a necessary number of strangers; aka when you pool.

If you’ve ever wondered whether or not you should be using Uber Pool, I probably didn’t make things any easier for you. More than likely I’ve introduced factors that you’ve never even thought about; some of which are nightmare-inducing. I’m sorry for that, but at least now you can make an informed decision; so actually, you’re welcome.

What can I say except…

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