The Ultimate Cat


I do not condone having fish as a pet. Fish is boring and you can’t pet it. Some people have pet snakes. I don’t get it – gross. Rats too – yuck. Birds are alright I guess but isn’t not my preference. Dogs and cats is what it pretty much comes down to, at least for me personally. These two pets are the only animals that should officially be considered pets. There’s a catch though… They have to be smart and friendly in order to make into my book of the ultimate pets.

Dogs are slightly higher on the likable scale. Assuming that they are potty-trained and they don’t just walk around dropping deuces and peeing fountains every time they’re excited or scared or feeling nothing whatsoever, dogs are the number 1 pet. A dog is loyal and it’s always happy to see you; it does tricks and runs around, endlessly providing you with entertainment. Not to mention, as a single dude you can take your pup out on a walk and score some major punani cause let’s face it, chicks dig a guy who can take care of a living thing.

A dog is not useless like a cat for example whose sole purpose in life more often than not doesn’t exceed lying around and being fat, making your sole purpose in life as The Human to feed it and clean up after it. No thank you. There is such a thing as the ultimate cat however and that my friends, is a cat with a dog’s personality. That’s right, it’s fluffy and adorable and it finds time between naps to play with you and be your friend. This type of cat will greet you at the door and lay on your tummy when it aches. This type of cat will lay by your side and purr in appreciation of your existence.

I’m allergic to cats but I would swallow a bottle of Claritin for a cat like that. Featured cat in the video is my friend’s cat. He’s pretty young and very obnoxious. He constantly seeks attention and I love him to pieces.


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