People at Parties be like…

There are all kinds of different parties out there and it’s safe to say that I’ve been to most of them. There were the college frat house ones where everyone walked around awkwardly from one couch to another gripping their red plastic cups in hopes that no one would slip a roofie in it. Those days were super lame; there would always be some nerd who couldn’t hold his liquor, broadcasting his newly found love for alcohol before he threw up all over the place. Not far from that dude there would almost always be a chick who’d take her top off before she climbed up on the counter, pretending she’s in the cast of Coyote Ugly. Sadly, ‘ugly’ is the only part of that performance that was accurate.


Sure enough those became old fairly fast. It wasn’t long before the frat boys took their sweaty bodies and grotesque attitudes out of the common room and into the local bars. While there were fewer girls taking off their shirts in public, there was still plenty of puking.

With time I was able to see those ‘types’ of bars from a mile away and naturally I avoided them like the plague. That’s when ‘parties’ took a turn for the better. They were hardly ever held at ‘home’ anymore; more so in a bar close to your house. You’d pick a favorite spot and everyone would flock to it either after work or on their day off.  It was great because no one had to worry about breaking expensive statues or staining the furniture. Not to mention, if you weren’t fond of the people making up said ‘party’ you could always just move a chair over and talk to a complete stranger who may or not turn out to be completely awesome. Bars are a cool that way; you never know who you’re gonna meet.

No matter how attached you become to these bars and how awesome it is to run into people you don’t otherwise get to hang out with, it does get pretty expensive. That’s when you carefully filter all your ‘friends’ and instead of inviting everyone and their brother over to your house, you invite a select few; that way everyone whose company you already like gets to enjoy the benefits of a chill environment and good booze without the high markup price.


A friend of mine has a house with a pool and a Jacuzzi, which he quite frequently uses as a venue for some pretty crazy parties. This one time he agreed to host a party for his buddy’s birthday. Naturally there was tons of booze, great food and even a live band. I somehow ended up at that party. Granted it wasn’t my house, but I’m a frequent visitor so it was a little weird to be surrounded by a bunch of people that neither I nor the owner of the house nor his wife knew personally. As the night went on, we all got our buzz on and these strangers seemed to be less and less bothersome. That was until I found myself standing amongst all these random couples with a beer in my hand and no opener. I came up to the first dude I see with a cigarette and asked him if I could please borrow his lighter so I can crack open my corona. He bluntly said he doesn’t have one while his girlfriend shot me a dirty look like I asked him to suck his dick or something. I guess her reaction was more or less appropriate seeing as how he probably didn’t have either.


What’s with people these days? Yes, I have a vagina; so what? Why are bitches acting like I’m a threat? Calm down; I just asked for a lighter; I have no interest in stealing your ‘bae’. And even if you I did, it’s not me and my motives you have to worry about; it’s your boyfriend and his actions. God, you couples can be so annoying sometimes. If you have to worry that much about your relationship that you feel the need to demonstrate it to the world by constantly holding hands and never stepping away for more than two feet from one another then perhaps you shouldn’t place yourself in mixed company. If you’re so very protective of your ‘partner’ that you can’t even handle them having a simple interaction with a human being of the opposite sex without snarking, then perhaps you should both stay at home and never ever leave that comfort zone.


Honestly, I’m just not used to that kind of behavior. Where I come from, people help one another. Even if I don’t have a lighter or anything equivalent that is useful for opening beer bottles… If someone is in need of assistance, single or in a relationship, I will do my best to accommodate that person. I wish people would behave more like individuals instead of acting like their significant other is a permanently attached at the hip growth. Lighten up people; after all, it’s a party.

featured image by the graphics factory

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