IRONING: TOP 5 PROS & CONS

I was never fond of ironing. For one I could never pronounce the word properly. I would say “I-ron”, just like how it’s written and people would laugh at me. Finally a certain someone taught me a lovely trick. Apparently you’re supposed to say it like “I-earn” but faster. I still don’t get it but whatever. I tried telling a joke to a bunch of Americans that incorporated being tortured […]

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RE: Selfish Annie and the Half-Starved Prince

Dear Prince, My initial response to your very public gripe of neglect would have landed you in therapy, which your daddy and I would inevitably end up paying for both literally and figuratively. Therefore, my response is the following: I would like to extend my sincere apologies for having been selfish and lazy the entire time that I’ve known you. Clearly I haven’t been taking care of my baby like […]

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The Triplets that Simply Don’t Give a F*ck

1. Post Office. Your package got lost in the mail? Aww. Too bad! Please contact the company that shipped it to you, so they could send you back to the Post Office because it stopped being their problem the moment the package left the building. After you’ve completed that useless step with a predictable outcome, you are more than welcome to contact the Post Office again, so they could then […]

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5 Ways to Make Sure Your Day is as Unproductive as Possible

1. NETFLIX. Watch anything and everything. It can be something you’ve seen a million times, but enjoy anyway or something new. It has to be on Netflix though. That way you’re bound to be planted on your ass for hours, with no commercials to get up during. If you must, you can use the pause button of course, but only to use the restroom or get food. Now, movies are […]

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Birthday Celebrations

I was never much into celebrating my birthday. Well, I shouldn’t say ‘never’; there was this one time that my mom threw me an amazing birthday party when I was 8. She invited all my friends, created all these fun games for everyone to play (handmade from scratch) and even made sure to have prizes for everyone. Everyone had a fantastic time. Unfortunately, by doing so, she inevitably set a […]

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7 Reasons You’re Wrong About Donald Trump

As social media is blowing up with hatred, we’re seemingly well on our way to Civil War; all because the elected president is “unfit to serve”. I for one was never into politics; in fact I tried with every fiber of my being to avoid anything and everything to do with politics with a ten foot pole. I swore I would never vote as I don’t believe it ultimately makes […]

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Make Your Own Taco Tuesday

Tacos are a wonderful thing. There’s a Bubba Gump world of tacos out there – any and all kinds made in every possibly way: shrimp tacos, beef tacos, chicken tacos, fish tacos, steak tacos, grilled, broiled, deep fried, on a flour tortilla, on a corn tortilla… There are the tiny street tacos that are packed with delicious meats and basically nothing else. Then there are fancy tacos that go all […]

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My Wild Cat: Domesticated and Ruined

I’ve recently written a tribute to my cat Fiddler Clementine. I gushed about her awesomeness and how independent she is, running around outside, doing her thing and then coming over to cuddle. It wasn’t love at first sight by all means; she was very much a bitch to me when she first came around. Eventually she warmed up to me and clawed her way into my heart. I started feeding […]

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43 Reasons Why Super Long Lists Are Annoying

The title implies that there’s a lot of reading There is a lot of reading There is a lot of scrolling You keep wondering if the list is going to get better It doesn’t get better They tend to split one sentence into at least two separate items; often more Every time you think it’s going to improve it doesn’t Whenever you think there’s a light at the end of […]

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MEOW – More than Just an Annoying Sound that Women of the 21st Century Make

I come up to strangers and I get all up close and personal in their ear lobes and I’m just like ‘Meow’; all creepy and shit. I ‘Meow’ all the time. Most people find it annoying; some find it mildly amusing. Whatever the case may be, I can honestly say that every passing day I give fewer fucks toward the ‘What People Think of Me” debacle. It’s my party and […]

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