“Mammas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys”

So I started watching this show on Netflix called ‘The Ranch’. It smells an awful lot like ‘That 70’s Show’. It doesn’t smell bad, don’t get me wrong; but it’s as if they got shot down to do the official remake so they decided to go with the next best thing. It starts out with just Michael and Hyde and slowly but surely (I’m up to season three) and they’ve already brought Fez and Kitty into it.

Surely the shows are different in their essence, but let’s have some fun and predict the future here. It’s only a matter of time before Donna shows up as a hot, overly tall red head (oh yeah, red, aka orange is totally the new black) with a hillbilly sidekick Eric who wears a beanie and makes fun of those that like to tip cows for fun. Erik is the type of guy that gets easily irritated when people spell his name with a ‘C’ instead of a ‘K’. He gets all like “Do I look like an Eric??” About two more seasons down the road, Red shows up as competition to Beau’s ranch in form of an obnoxious, straight forward, sarcastic yet lovable fellow. His wife Mitch (because everything is backwards here; keep up) is as blonde as ever and surprisingly a liberal with a fat set of feminist brain cells. That’s right baby, she’s the leader of The Left and her best friend is that one fat lady; that insignificant human being that promised to move to Canada if Trump won, but instead decided to stay in the states and annoy everyone… Before you know it, Michael inevitably strays from the badass blonde he’s currently and forever in love with to have an affair with a mysterious and sexy brunette played by Mila Kunis. Since Michael and Jackie didn’t end up together, it’s only fair that they at least get to play hooky one more time on television. Oh wait… they already did that and more; in real life.

Truth.

Alright I’m done. Imaginary elaborations are fun and all but that wasn’t even what inspired this article.

“Mammas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys. Let them be doctors and lawyers…” That’s the theme song to ‘The Ranch’. It’s catchy and I guess I sort of get the message. A cowboy’s life is a tough one, what with all the bar fights, being thrown in jail, and getting girls pregnant and what not. Oh wait, that can happen to anyone! Pretty sure that life isn’t reserved strictly for cowboys.

Yum.

Mothers! Why wouldn’t you want your babies grow up to be cowboys? Why make them be doctors and lawyers? I for one find cowboys to be quite sexy. Sure, doctors and lawyers get paid the big bucks, but let’s face it; they tend to be kinda boring and they hardly ever have time for you. It’s those that are willing to get down and dirty, and it’s those that aren’t scared of a rifle that truly take the ‘good husband’ title. They are protectors. They are glorious and manly. Is it hard to love a cowbody? Perhaps. But the way I see it, it’s hard to love period. Cowboys are generally more rough around the edges and free spirited; if that’s not sexy I don’t know what is. So what if your average, modern cowboy comes with a broken pickup truck and a few missing teeth?  Just put on a country song, drink a beer and watch the sunset. That is what inspired this article. Embrace the simplicity and enjoy life. For everything else there’s Mastercard.

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