Chronic Resting Dick Face

Resting Bitch Face is a syndrome that among many other made up ones has casually creeped its way into the 21st century. After lengthy research and endless real life examples I’m convinced that it is in fact a thing. It may not be a disease per say, but it’s definitely a condition. Some people possessing said condition have a personality to match their face – they’re bitches. Others might be the kindest people you ever have the pleasure of meeting; they’re just cursed with the forever frowning mouth corners and an indifferent stare. Basically, only once you get to know them, can you determine whether the ‘resting bitch face’ is just an unfortunate component of their physical structure or if it’s an unfortunate fact about the human behind the face as well.

By the same token, a person can have the most benevolent looking face; and behind it hides a horrible monster. Point is: you never know; so you know, don’t judge a book by its cover and stuff.
Most importantly though, let’s talk about equality! Can men have a resting bitch face, or is that reserved strictly for women? Perhaps gay men can… You know, because they’re the ones that tend to have the bitchy personalities to back up the bitch face. As far as straight men go however… it feels wrong to say ‘he has a resting bitch face’ even if he does constantly look like he doesn’t like you and/or wants to murder everyone around him.

Anywhere you go these days all you hear is women complaining about not having the same rights as men do, and yet here we are selfishly clutching the ‘resting bitch face’ syndrome; keeping it all to ourselves. Men too should enjoy the benefit of having an excuse for how they appear to others. It’s not fair that women can scowl and blame it on the resting bitch face, and men don’t have the same outlet. This injustice should be rectified immediately! Oh wait… it already has. Hence: Chronic Resting Dick Face – a condition that perfectly describes the chronically unfriendly face of a man. It just so happens that it can easily be related to the possibility that the man in question may very well be a dick in life as well. And believe me, more often than not, at least in my experience, if a man looks like he’s a dick, he more than likely is.

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