My Wild Cat: Domesticated and Ruined

I’ve recently written a tribute to my cat Fiddler Clementine. I gushed about her awesomeness and how independent she is, running around outside, doing her thing and then coming over to cuddle. It wasn’t love at first sight by all means; she was very much a bitch to me when she first came around. Eventually she warmed up to me and clawed her way into my heart. I started feeding […]

Continue Reading

43 Reasons Why Super Long Lists Are Annoying

The title implies that there’s a lot of reading There is a lot of reading There is a lot of scrolling You keep wondering if the list is going to get better It doesn’t get better They tend to split one sentence into at least two separate items; often more Every time you think it’s going to improve it doesn’t Whenever you think there’s a light at the end of […]

Continue Reading

MEOW – More than Just an Annoying Sound that Women of the 21st Century Make

I come up to strangers and I get all up close and personal in their ear lobes and I’m just like ‘Meow’; all creepy and shit. I ‘Meow’ all the time. Most people find it annoying; some find it mildly amusing. Whatever the case may be, I can honestly say that every passing day I give fewer fucks toward the ‘What People Think of Me” debacle. It’s my party and […]

Continue Reading

Sometimes Food and Alcohol are More Important than Babies

Babies are cute, no doubt. Granted, not all babies, and definitely not all the time but they are for the most part in the cute vicinity. However, I often find that they’re only as cute as the distance between said babies and any place away from them is long; let’s face it, when you’ve witnessed a few of their tantrums, all you want to do is go home to your […]

Continue Reading

Bubble Bath Me Back to Sanity

Bubble baths have a certain level of serenity that surprisingly not everyone is capable of reaching. Chandler was unable to understand the beauty of it until Monica drew him the perfect bath in ‘Friends’, and many others in non-sitcom lives suffer through the very same concept. Frankly, I don’t know what the big deal is. Bubble baths are awesome no matter the amount of ‘craft’ you apply towards them. The […]

Continue Reading

Don’t Drink and Drive. Unless You Can Flower.

Drunk driving is no bueno. It’s ill-advised on every and all occasions, and it should never take place. Having said that, some people are better at drunk driving than others. You can get a DUI after drinking two beers if you’re driving like an asshole, speeding and shit… And you can get away with drunk driving if you’re semi-wasted as long as you’re following the rules of the road. It […]

Continue Reading

Red Bull in All its Evil Glory

They say Red Bull gives you wings. Unless they’re the wings of the devil, I call BS. Red Bull gives you a false sense of having wings that seemingly provide you with the possibility of conquering the world while jumping off roofs and cliffs as you party hard ‘til dawn. And then the realization of your tired and very feeble mortality comes crashing down along with your non-existent super powers. […]

Continue Reading

Wild Cats Do it Better

All sorts of things are bound to take place in a huge house the doors of which are almost always wide open. One of those things was an outside cat that decided to casually stroll in one day like she owned the place. She just walked right through the front door and made herself comfortable first on the couch, then the kitchen floor and eventually everywhere else. Seeing as how […]

Continue Reading

The Best Type of Cleaning is Drunk Cleaning

When drunk bitches violate your roommate’s domain while he’s on vacation and trusts you to protect the castle, you must remedy the situation by assuming the responsibility of cleaning up the crime scene. Do I like the fact that I’m held responsible for our mutual friend’s (who also happens to be my boss) drunken, childish behavior? Hell no. Am I willing to move past it because essentially it’s not a […]

Continue Reading

Ubering Keeps Leveling Up. What’s Next?

Unless you’re in New York, you hardly ever see a yellow Taxi anymore; it’s all about Uber and Lyft nowadays. I don’t mind; it’s super convenient. Not to mention, cleaner and generally much cheaper than a taxi. Despite those differences however, the two will forever share one thing; all the shit that goes down in the back seat. ‘Cab Confessions’ was a thing back in the day and it’d still […]

Continue Reading