So you wish to know the truth that is behind ‘SheBangs.US’…
Does she actually ‘bang’ or is that a joke of some sort? If it’s not a joke and she does in fact bang, does she bang everyone that comes along or is she selective about it? Does she bang them all at once or individually? What if… She doesn’t bang at all, and she just wants you to think that she does so she can snatch your interest right before she grabs you by the inevitably blue balls and spits you out?
Why does a seemingly good girl of strict, Russian upbringing feel the need to choose such an ‘obscure’ username to reflect her personality?
Well… Let’s clear the air once and for all.
First of all, I have BANGS. Sure, considering some of my other protruding assets, ‘bangs’ may not be the first thing you notice, but nevertheless it’s one of my most defining features. Not only does the hair style happen to suit my face better but more importantly, it acts as a constant reminder of a pretty important marking point in my life’s timeline – By chopping off my bangs I deleted a whole bunch of other nonsense that I’m not planning on coming back to.
Second of all, while I can be quite bangin’ at times, I happen to actually not bang everything that moves; far from it in fact; so far, that for a brief moment in time it was considered that the entire ‘shebangs.us’ brand instead be named ‘teasesallnightlong.me’. While it would be much more accurate, it wouldn’t be as entertaining, so the idea was nixed.
Bottom line is this… Much like the “Tame Me” tattoo on my ring finger doesn’t mean ‘I like to get whipped into submission’, the whole ‘she bangs’ concept has zero to do with sexual penetration. Come on, people. Ever heard of a double entendre?!
The only penetration that will be happening here is when my tongue and fingers enter the holes of your body and soul through your ear drums and eye sockets. I’m gonna f*ck your mind whether you like it or not, so if you know what’s good for you, you might as well just give in. I understand that you may feel reluctant to let me, confused as to why you should even, but trust me… Once I’m done with you; once you get over the initial shock, you’ll be begging for more… And I’ll always be here to deliver. That’s a promise.