Behind the ‘BANGS’

Born and raised in Russia, I am proud to say that I’ve retained some of the better qualities of my nation. You know, not the sleazy, corrupt, mafia-like qualities; but more so concepts like loyalty, hard work, straight-forwardness, value of things and appreciation for them. As Russian as I may be both culturally and linguistically, I’ve lived in the states for most of my life, and am very much a proud American citizen.

‘Murica! Fuck yeah!

Now let’s clue you in on some of the main details about the person that is behind the Bangs.


I’m a writer. I’m not a woman of a few words, unless it’s necessary. The content that I produce is mostly based on real life events with a hint of fiction. What I do is most often referred to as ‘blogging’. While it isn’t inaccurate, I personally dislike that term. It seems that anyone with access to a computer can call themselves a ‘blogger’ these days, even if there’s no actual content behind it. A mere history of random Tweets and Instagram posts can magically turn into a ‘blog’ if one wishes so and is willing to shed a few bucks on a semi-clever domain. I’d like to think that my stuff has a wee bit more substance to it.

I’m a bartender. Much like every other bartender that proudly wears the permanent scars of the ‘Service Industry’ world, forever dedicated to their craft, I reek of sarcasm and hatred for stupidity, I have zero patience and I’m easily annoyed. However, in endless attempts of being ‘hospitable’, I constantly exercise the ability to act against my natural instincts. You’re welcome. Having said that, I don’t have a “favorite drink to make”; I make them all. I don’t have a drink to recommend to you unless I’ve previously spoken to you about what you like and dislike; and no, you can’t have a shot that’s both sweet and extra strong. With that out of the way, as far as my own personal choices are concerned… I Prefer bars to clubs and whiskey to all booze. Enjoy red wine more than white and all beer is welcome in my mouth (depending on occasion and mood). In spite of my Russianness, I find vodka to be disgusting. Everything else – Sure, why not.

I’m creative and stuff… Most of my creativity is reflected in the drinks that I make; the rest often ends up on a canvas in form of a colorful mess. I certainly wouldn’t refer to myself as an artist though; more of a dabbler in the arts. In fact, I don’t understand most modern art and how it’s not recognized as a pile of pretentious crap that it is. Sure, I play with colors and I tend to assign a name as well as a ‘meaning’ to the final product, but I would never pretend like my stuff belongs on a wall at a gallery somewhere; just my own walls and the walls of friends. I also tend to get very crafty with duct tape; you won’t believe the things I’ve done and fixed.

All in all, while my life is decorated with colorful things like booze and paint, I do spend a lot of time in the gray area. Not because it’s a fun area to play in, but because I find it to be a more realistic one. Almost everything in life is circumstantial. What’s not up for discussion however, is how people choose to approach me. I’m game for making new friends and meeting interesting people, but if you message me with something lazy like ‘hey’ or ‘what’s up’, don’t expect a response; you have neither the potential to be interesting nor are you friend material. Make an effort for god’s sake. Similarly, if your idea of a conversation is to send me a bunch of dick pics, asking me if I ‘like it’, the answer is ‘Feel free to send me whatever; I’ll make sure to show the best and the worst ones to all of my friends; but don’t expect anything in return’. Just because you’re too lazy to read about the actual meaning of ‘She Bangs’, doesn’t mean I’m going to indulge every single one of you in a personalized discussion as to why I’m not interested in porn swapping.